


Hot Minute

by dream_vs_nightmare



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, or as slow as I can stand
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-01-22 22:10:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18536452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dream_vs_nightmare/pseuds/dream_vs_nightmare
Summary: Finn is ninety-five percent sure he's completely straight. Ninety-nine percent on a good day. Enter Poe Dameron; older, good-looking, and ridiculously charming, and the reason for there being a sudden outlier.Inspired by a sweet r/relationships post and thestarwar's fluffy and sweet "Seeing Blind" fic.





	1. See You Around

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thestarwar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestarwar/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Seeing Blind](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13270518) by [thestarwar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestarwar/pseuds/thestarwar). 



> This fic's inspired by a r/relationships post about a younger straight guy meeting an older, attractive gay guy at the gym. Sooner or later, they're spending all their free time together & totally falling for each other.
> 
> Character dynamics are heavily influenced/inspired by thestarwar's sweet and gorgeous Stormpilot fic linked above. And lastly, the title's taken from Caleb Lovely's song, Hot Minute.

If anyone asks him later, he’ll say that it’s all Rey’s fault.

It’s an absolute shit day outside and he’d so much rather stay curled up in bed doing absolutely fuck all. The sky is low and dark with cloud cover and cold rain splatters against the bedside windows, sound of it enough to nearly lull him back to sleep. Staying in bed watching random stuff on Hulu and ignoring all his undergrad homework sounds like a fabulous idea, really.

He considers it a moment, sorely tempted. But then Finn remembers his promise to Rey - adorable, way-too-serious, and vaguely terrifying Rey - about being her gym buddy every Saturday.

And there’s no getting around it, because she’s got this sixth-sense for bullshit that prevents him from spinning a believable lie. So he groans and gets to it, dragging himself up out of bed and trudging to the bathroom for a shower.

The gym’s relatively quiet when he arrives a good half hour later, clean, dressed, and fairly caffeinated with yes, a pumpkin spice latte in hand. He thinks he’s allowed to be basic in this one aspect of his life, thank you very much. Rey’s nowhere to be found when he walks into the lobby, but the guy behind the counter smiles and waves him on upstairs anyway.

Finn heads that way and sends her a quick text as he goes, sure she’ll be here soon. He figures she’s just grabbing breakfast for their post workout munchies: a dozen bagels, cream cheese, and some nasty ass sweet tea that she  _insists_  doesn’t taste like flowers even though it totally does. The thought’s making him hungry, except for the tea anyway. That’s still nasty.

Last week, Rey had declared this Saturday was leg day. How he hates leg day.

But with most of his usual go-tos for equipment taken, Finn’s left with few options. And he can’t even stall for time now that he’s finished his latte. He sighs and pops in his earbuds, puts an absolute fire playlist on shuffle, and hops on the treadmill.

His gym buddy never shows.  _And_  she sends a selfie of her snacking on one of those damned bagels too, which is just fucking rude.

She’s sporting an awfully wide smile for someone who’s claimed mornings were created by Satan. And the chocolate-chip bagel in her hand’s absolutely  _smothered_  in cream cheese. Dammit, Rey.

He makes a pitiful noise at the back of his throat just looking at it. He really needs to learn to eat  _before_  going to the gym.

Someone chooses that premise moment to clap him on the shoulder to get his attention.  _Please dear Lord, don’t have let them heard that._

He pauses his music, takes out an earbud, and turns towards them.

“Hey, man, would you mind spotting me?” An older guy asks. He looks like he could be on the cover of fucking Sports Illustrated or something - all muscle and olive skintone, dark eyes, messy curls and a sharp, stubbled jawline.

Finn has no idea why the dude’s here when he looks absolutely ripped already.

But hey, who is he to judge? A five-foot-seven total pixie of a girl convinced him to get a gym membership with her after they’d talked in class like three times.

“Sure thing bro, lead the way.”

Sports Illustrated walks over to the bench press and Finn follows close behind. He watches as the guy does a couple of warm-up reps first, nothing special. Then he notices the tattoo. It stretches up damn near half the guy’s right arm, depicting a lush forest scene that’s half-hidden in a shroud of fog.

“Woah, that’s some sick ink, man! The detail is incredible.”

Sports Illustrated looks up at him from the bench press with a smile. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, it looks awesome.” Finn says, standing just behind him.

Then, around a laugh, “I’m sure you already knew that though, your tattoo and all.” And he has to wonder if he always sounds this bloody ridiculous when he’s talking to Rey during her workout sessions. Jesus, he hopes not.

“Hey, it’s no problem. I’m Poe, by the way.” The smile’s back, lazy and warm. It dispels some of his anxiety about being a total garbage fire of a human being. "Poe Dameron."

“Finn Skywalker.” He says in kind. And then just to make conversation, adds, “My friend from school usually drags me in here, but it looks like she skipped out on me today.”

“Well, lucky me then. I could use a spotter.” Poe winks at him.

The muscles in his arm seem to ripple when he lifts another rep and Finn’s momentarily transfixed by the sight.

“Lucky you, I’m not absolute shit at it.” Finn jokes, shaking his head to clear it. The gym’s quiet around them, with people scattered about on various machines and talking amongst themselves over the drum of the rain. Outside, the storm hasn’t let up an inch. And Rey’s still nowhere to be seen, the traitor. As punishment, he decides he isn’t bringing her morning coffee to class on Monday.

The guys fall into a comfortable silence for a bit, with Poe doing several more reps and Finn helping him out here and there. Making sure his form’s okay, or watching in case he needs a hand.

They end up talking about Poe’s tattoo a little more, like where he got it and why.

“…so I figured I’d get that, y’know? It meant a lot to my mom, and I wanted to honor her memory that way. Seemed like a good thing to do. Then I walked into the shop and boom! There it was.” He gestures to the half-sleeve design.

Finn raises an eyebrow, curious. “So what happened to the original idea then?”

“Oh don’t you worry, I found a way to incorporate it into the design too. Here, I’ll show you.” Poe says as he sets the bar back down. Finn’s about to protest that no, it’s cool, he isn’t done lifting yet. But it’s too late. Poe’s already pushing himself off the bench press and walking over to him.

“See? Right here.” He points to the cluster of stars inked in the sky on his bicep, just above the forest. Finn wracks his brain to try and remember the name of the constellation, because he knows he’s seen it before. But he can’t concentrate with Poe standing so close, gaze intent on his own.

“Oh, that’s sick. What’s it called again? Sorry, been a long time since I took astronomy. It’s not Orion, is it?” He doesn’t think so.

Poe smiles and claps him on the back, assuring him, “Hey, it’s no worries. Most people don’t bother taking it at all.”

And then as Finn leads them over to the treadmills, Poe finishes, “Nah, it’s Andromeda actually. There’s a galaxy named after her too, hidden right in the constellation. How cool is that?”

“You’re kind of a space nerd, aren’t you? Bet you’ve got every word of Stars Wars memorized too.” Finn says as kind of a joke, not really expecting it to be true.

“What if I was, eh?” Poe asks, laughter in his voice as he shoulder checks Finn. “You’re the geek who took astronomy, buddy.”

“Dunno that I could bear to be seen with you, to be honest. Like geez, d’you know how  _old_  those movies are?” He quips back with the same amused, teasing note in his voice. “And my dad’s an astronomy professor, it runs in my blood.”

“Hey. Hey. Those movies are classics, young man.” Poe jabs a finger in Finn’s direction. “And ya can’t diss the classics.”

“Oh? Fine, I’ll just diss you instead then.” Finn says with a wicked grin as the two of them break out into a jog on their machines.

The sound of Poe’s laugh fills the room, warm and full. The majority of the gym-goers around them are sorely not amused, and a handful of people actually glare at them.

“Walked right into that one, didn’t I?”

“Yeahhh, kinda.”

They talk for another hour, long after Finn had promised himself he’d leave to go grab lunch with Rey. Lunchtime comes and goes and he pays it no mind. Conversation flows from one thing to the next like he and Poe have known each other for months, years. It’s easy, fun, and he enjoys the company even though Poe’s easily several years older than him.

He learns Poe’s a bit of a military brat, raised in an Air Force family before he joined the ranks himself at nineteen years old. Stayed in the force for almost a decade. Which makes sense, given…well, just about everything about the guy. What’s more surprising is that as a single dad, he’s somehow managing to get both of his pre-teen daughters through the weird, chaotic fever dream that is middle school without totally losing his mind. And he runs a bookstore, which Finn doesn’t quite catch the name of before a phone call interrupts the conversation.

“Hey pumpkin, what’s up?” If possible, Poe’s smile gets even wider when he’s talking to one of his kids. “Did you and Shara just get back from walking BB-8? You all remembered a raincoat, didn't you?”

There's a soft look on his face as he listens intently to his daughter's reply. Whatever she says makes him laugh.

Then he winks at Finn and excuses himself to continue the call, walking backwards and mouthing  _see you around?_ as he goes.

Finn gives him a two-fingered salute, smiles and mouths,  _Yeah, Star Wars, see you around,_ before he heads downstairs and walks outside into the rain.

* * *

“Wait, he winked at you?” Rey asks from across from him, half disbelief and half amusement as she bites into her bagel.

When he’d gotten to the cafe and hunkered both at their usual booth, she was already there. Curled up and comfy with her bare feet tucked beneath her, ballet flats kicked off under the table. She’d been scrolling through Instagram when he’d arrived, forgotten coursework and a plate of food abandoned in front of her.

“Yeah, once when he’d been lifting and then again before he’d left.” Finn can’t quite decipher the look she’s giving him. She's smiling like she knows something he doesn't. “What? Is that bad?”

Finn had lived kind of a… _sheltered_ life before Luke Skywalker adopted him. Though that’s not what Luke calls it - he says the Johnsons were fucking batshit and probably part of a cult.

In any case, the pair of them had yanked Finn out of school after he’d come home talking about evolution in sixth or seventh grade, amazed by the whole thing. They’d home schooled him for  _years_  afterwards, said that public school was evil, immoral and wrong.

So he’d basically learned to socialize alright up until around middle school, before the Johnsons cut him off from hanging around other kids his age. Had murmured something about temptation and sin and being unclean, whatever the fuck that’d meant. And all these years later, in little moments like these, he just feels like he’s  _missing something_.

Rey gives his hand a squeeze from across the table, expression terribly sad before it softens again. Like she knows where his head was without him having to say a thing. “It’s okay, Finn, ‘s not bad. A wink can have tons of meanings, but sometimes…”

“Sometimes?” Finn echoes, raising an eyebrow at her to continue. And then, prompting and amused, “Oh great Jedi master, do enlighten me on the Force of winking and the great and terrible power it wields.”

The awful sadness gone now, Rey smiles and says in a sage voice, “Sometimes, my young student, winking at someone means you’re flirting with them, or that you’re teasing them about something.”

She takes a sip of her tea and then clarifies in a normal tone, “But it all depends on context, see.”

Finn leans back in the booth and, taking her definition in stride, volunteers, “Oh, so it’d mean different things if you winked at me versus if you winked at Rose?”

Rey sputters around her drink, flushing and caught off guard. “How did- how did you…”

It’s the student’s turn to smile at the master now. Groaning, Rey gives a dismissive wave of her hand and mutters, “Nevermind, I don’t want to know. But yes, that’d be- that’s a good way to look at it.”

But Finn still doesn’t quite know what to _do_ with this information. “Okay, so maybe he thinks I’m attractive then.”

“And d’you think he is?” Rey asks, studying him with her chin in her hand.

“I don’t know. Maybe?” For a guy who’s like ninety-five percent sure he’s completely straight, this whole thing isn’t quite the major exisitential crisis he thought it’d be. It's just confusing. “But what do I…what am  _I_ supposed to do back?”

Rey twirls a pen between the fingers of her other hand, attention divided between him and her engineering homework. The British lilt in her voice’s soft and comforting when she meets his gaze and says, “Honey, you can do whatever you want. Wink back at him or don’t, but it’s your choice.”

“Does it…does it change anything?” He isn’t sure, and he still isn’t…he still isn’t used to  _having a choice_ after the Johnsons and it’s so frustrating.

“D’you want it to?” Rey asks, and there’s no judgement there. He doesn’t answer, because he doesn’t know and that frustrates him too.

* * *

Out in the parking lot, Finn tries reassuring her like twelve times that he’s perfectly fine grabbing an Uber home, or even walking the rest of the way. And it _is_ totally fine, really. He’s not trying to guilt her into a ride or something, he’d never do that.

But Rey just laughs like he’s being ridiculous and says, “Oh my God, Finn, could you just get in the truck?”

He climbs into the Trans-Am and shuts the door behind him, blowing warm air into his hands to try and ward away the chill from the rain. Rey cranks the heat up as they pull out onto the main road.

It’s quiet between them for a few minutes, comfortable, muffled sounds of traffic and the drum of the rain on the windshield filling the silence. Then Rey fiddles around with something on the dashboard at the next set of lights before handing him the auxiliary cord and asks, “Make use of that, will you?”

Finn has just the thing in mind. Grinning, he scrolls through his music library until he finds the playlist he’s looking for. He pushes shuffle play and Rey laughs at the familiar melody that flows through the speakers.

“Holy shit, I haven’t heard this song in _years_!” She says around a laugh as the light turns green and they barrel on through the intersection.

The guitar still sounds the way sunlight looks as it filters through the clouds, and Finn’s absolutely shameless as he sings along to the opening verse.

“I am unwritten, can’t read my mind, I’m undefined…”

Rey sings the next bit without an ounce of prompting, “I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned.”

“Staring at the blank page before you, open up the dirty window, let the sun illuminate the words that you cannot find…” Finn pantomimes opening a window as he sings along.

“Reaching for something in the distance, so close you can almost taste it…” Rey does the same, dramatically reaching out a hand with the one that isn’t on the steering wheel.

Both of them are dancing along by the time they get to the next set of lights, totally into their Grammy-level performance and not giving a damn who looks. And people are definitely looking, but Finn gives whoever’s in the car beside them no mind.

He and Rey take turns sharing an imaginary microphone through the rest of the song, thoroughly enjoying themselves as they make the short drive across town.

“Damn, we’re _good_.” Finn says once the song’s ended.

“Oh, the best.” Rey agrees, a smile in her voice as she pulls up to the house. Of course, they’re not serious - they probably sounded absolutely horrible. Finn was definitely out of tune a couple times there, but it doesn’t matter because he’s _happy_.

He doesn’t think he could get any happier until Rey leans over the center console and kisses his cheek. She's hesitant to touch _anyone_ , like ever, so he considers it a total win. “Text me when you get inside, yeah?”

“Yeah, sure thing.” Finn returns the auxiliary cord and pockets his phone before he gets out of the Trans-Am. “Hey, Rey?”

“Mm?”

“Thanks.”  Whereas other people might ask what for, Rey just gives him a soft smile and says, “Anytime, Finn.”

They both know it isn't for the sing-along.


	2. Traitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or the one where everyone's rly gay and cute and I love them all. Also, Rey totally ships FinnPoe and p much begs Finn to go get coffee with the guy next week. But it's totally not a date, right? Right??
> 
> I tried to keep this slow burn, I really did. And it failed miserably, as you can probs tell.
> 
> Also: I'm still looking for a beta reader, so if you wanna squeal over our boys together and help ya girl exude less chaotic-disaster writer energy at the same time, then pls @ me on twitter or tumblr lettin' me know. Pls, pls @ me.

* * *

The weekend fades far too fast for Finn’s liking, there and gone again in what feels like a haze of homework, too much coffee, and an entire evening spent binge-watching whatever’s trending on Rey's Netflix account. He’d stumbled upon Derry Girls that way and had plowed through the better part of both seasons by Sunday’s end. The precious hours of lost sleep hadn’t seemed so fatal then, with some five and a half hours until his first class of the day. But they definitely feel fatal now as he slides into the seat next to Rey with a miserable groan, two cups of coffee in tow.

“Well, good morning to you too, sunshine.” She looks almost unfairly put together compared to him, and that’s saying something. He’s pretty sure the girl’s still got on last night’s pajamas beneath an oversized hoodie, and he thinks she might’ve got a brush through her hair this morning.

He sinks his head onto the desk, face hidden in front of crossed arms when he mutters, “Got you your coffee, traitor.”

“Oh, so you’re still salty about that then?” Though he can’t see her face from here, he’s almost a thousand percent sure she’s smiling.

“You are an enemy of the crown, a traitor of the highest order, and your punishment shall be swift and unrelenting.” He vows as he picks his head up to look at her, gaze steely.

She rolls her eyes at the empty threat and says, “You Americans. So dramatic.”

“We threw perfectly good tea into the harbor as a protest to paying taxes - we’re more than a bit dramatic, you can come up with a better insult than that.”

“Mm, true,” Amusement glimmers in her eyes. “But not this early in the morning, I can’t.”

She’s got a point there, doesn’t she? Neither of them does much talking during their first few classes of the morning for that exact reason - it’s too early for his one remaining brain cell to function, and it’s too early for hers to string together more than a sentence at a time. So he’s more than a little relieved when she doesn’t push the Star Wars issue any further.

Knowing his luck though, she’ll probably bring it up again in the middle of lunch with Rose, Snap, and Kare. And he hasn’t exactly let them in on what Rey’s dubbed the Thirst Awakening from this weekend, for obvious reasons. The obvious reasons being he doesn’t wanna talk about it, because nothing even bloody happened. (No matter what Rey thinks, dammit.)

By the lecture’s end, his latte’s long gone cold and his writing hand’s cramped from trying to keep up with the professor’s monotonous drone. At least he isn’t the girl in the front row - she’d been on the receiving end of one of Phasma’s infamous death glares for asking a simple question. And to make things that much worse, Phasma wants to see him in her office immediately. He didn’t think last week’s essay had been _that bad_ , but okay. If someone could just kill him now please, that’d be fantastic. He and Rey share twin looks of horror at the summons before he trudges into Phasma’s office and she shuts the door closed behind them.

Seriously, what in the ever loving hell possessed him to take _three_ eight AM classes in one semester?

* * *

Tuesday doesn’t go much better, and Wednesday… Jesus, he doesn’t even want to think about Wednesday.

The rest of the week goes by without incident and rolls into what feels like one long, languid Friday afternoon. Not that he’s complaining, because he really isn’t. And how can he?

It’s a damn good start to the weekend. He and Rey spend it day-drinking in shorts and tshirts, sprawled out in the quad on a couple of lawn chairs they’d pilfered from the welcome lobby. Or rather, Rey had done the pilfering and Finn had just checked to make sure none of the staff glanced out the window long enough to notice (especially Phasma, she’d have their heads if she knew).

“It totally isn’t stealing if we’re gonna bring them back!” Rey says once they’ve settled in their usual spot out on the grass.

“Hey, if that’s what helps you sleep at night.” Finn jokes, taking a long sip of hard lemonade.

Rey’s attention is half-absorbed in her phone as she nurses a gin & tonic and searches for a playlist to fit her mood. He feels loose-limbed and warm as he waits for her to decide. It could be minutes or hours later that Hozier’s smooth vocals and moody acoustic fill the space between them. Oh, bless her.

He hasn’t heard the song before, but it’s easily as haunting and entrancing as what’s on the rest of the guy’s new album. They end up keeping the forest prince’s record on heavy rotation for a while, interspersed with Florence + the Machine and other moody, atmospheric tracks that probably belong on a hipster coffee shop’s radio. Alcohol has the world going soft and hazy around the edges by the time he’s finished his third lemonade. Or has he had more? He can’t remember now.

Time feels sticky and slow, syrupy, his senses pleasantly dulled as sounds fall away into a distant hum. The sound of Rey’s voice, her unending Spotify playlist, and the random, chaotic noise from a party in the campus apartments… it’s all blurred into one. He thinks he could fall asleep like this, wouldn’t even mind.

Or he could’ve fallen asleep had Rose not plopped down into his lap and hugged him tight around the shoulders. It jolts him right back into the waking world with a start and what feels like a damn heart attack. “Jesus, woman, why are you always _doing that_?”

Rose just laughs at his misfortune and pushes herself to a standing position as he tries to get his bearings. The music from Rey’s phone is but a quiet hush, and the world comes back into focus in washed-out, muted colors from laying in the sun too long.

Rey hands him a bottle of water as Rose sits down next to her, getting comfy. He takes a few long sips of water and swallows it down before asking their friend, “Seriously, why don’t you do that to her? I’m sure she’d appreciate it tons more than me, and beyond that ‘s just rude. Like are you _trying_ to give a guy a heart attack here?”

Rose smiles like a cat caught with a bowl of cream and says, “I’m like two steps ahead of you there, buddy.”

Finn just gawks at her, then looks at Rey’s blushing face and puts the pieces together. “Holy shit, when did that happen?”

“You remember last Saturday?”

Finn nods. “Yeah, ‘course. Rey couldn’t make it, so I was this other guy’s spotting partner for the day. He seemed pretty cool, actually. A bit older than us, used to be in the Air Force or something. And he looked like he could’ve been on the cover of Sports Illustrated or some shit like that, his muscles were that unbelievable. You should’ve seen 'em, Rose, I couldn’t look away.”

Rose raises an eyebrow at the description but doesn’t press it further. She and Rey share a look like they’ve got a secret they haven’t shared with him yet. “Riiight, well. We kind of, sort of, _maaybe_ went on a date on Friday?”

Rey gives her a playful shove, laughing and insisting, “Oh c'mon, it was totally a date. Just because I didn’t kiss you until the next morning-”

Finn sees his opening and takes it, joking, “Ooh, the next morning, huh?”

Rey leans over in her lounge chair to punch him hard in the arm. “Shut up, you know it wasn’t like that.”

“Oh, I’m well aware, but d’you know how long I‘ve waited to use that joke?”

She rolls her eyes, and he continues, “I am happy for you guys, though. I mean, you lamented for months about how Rose wasn’t possibly gonna wanna date you because you’re not into sex, and _how could you even go on once she found out_? _The agony!_ ” He throws a hand over his eyes and imitates Rey’s expression the night she’d told him, looking like a melodramatic and angst-ridden widower gazing out at the moon in a flowing mourning gown.

Then his expression smooths over again as he gestures to them both, the picture-perfect image of happy, content, and disgustingly adorable as they lean against each other, hands entwined. “And now look at you, you’re so cute together it kinda makes me wanna puke.”

This whole exchange seems to be news to Rose, who squeals out an _aww, Finn!_ and then turns to her girlfriend to ask, “You really thought I wasn’t into you because of that?”

And Rey mumbles out something that sounds like, “ _wellyeahImean_ … nobody ever is” but he can’t quite hear her once Rose has smushed their girl into a hug.

The three of them talk about random shit after that, from everything to their parents ( “Finn, I can’t deal with them, they’re so loving and sweet and _it’s suffocating_ ,” and “try having an astronomy professor for a dad, the space puns never freaking end,”) and their crappy part-time jobs ( “never work at Starbucks, a guy nearly threw his coffee on me after _he_ grabbed the wrong one!” or “oh, how about working at the comics book store? Nothing like having a guy tell you you’re a fake fan!”) to how classes are going ( “have you had Phasma yet? She’s a nightmare!” and “no, but have you had that Hux guy in your classes? He’s a total prick with terrible fashion sense and edgy, racist attempts at humor,”) and the new Avengers movie that just rolled out over the weekend.

Given that last change in topic, Rose claps her hands over her ears and yells that she doesn’t want to hear _a single word of spoilers_ from either of them.

Rey gets a devious look on her face as she meets Finn’s gaze and asks, “Okay, then how about spoilers for the new Star Wars movie?”

 _Oh, no._ His stomach drops in absolute horror. No, no, no, no, _no_.

They’d gone to see Episode VII on a whim the night before, grabbed popcorn and drinks to share and an absurd amount of candy bars for Rey. It wasn’t long after the lights dimmed and the flick started that he’d found himself looking and looking and _looking_ at the confident, cocky Resistance pilot - sure the guy reminded him of someone. All dark eyes and tousled hair and a smile so disarming, it should've been absolutely criminal. But he couldn’t put his finger on who, until Rey had leaned in and whispered, “Huh. Looks like that Poe guy from the gym, doesn’t he?”

And then it’d all clicked _hard_ into place and he cannot deal with the mortification of Rose knowing too or he will actually, literally die.

Finn rushes to say, “Rose, no, she doesn’t mean the actual plot-” and minimize the damage, but it’s already done. Rose is blissfully unaware of his own impending doom and wants to know _absolutely everything_. Rey’s more than happy to tell the tale, a little too happy to sentence him to his fate if you ask him. Jesus, he’s going to die. He’s just going to sink into the grass and lay there so long he’ll turn into moss, and then he’ll let the earth swallow him whole. 

He really wishes it would, but of course, he isn’t that lucky. So Finn spends the next ten minutes with his head in his hands cursing his choice in close friends. But mostly Rey.

And Rey, for the record, tells Rose everything, including the fact she named the whole fiasco the Thirst Awakening. “Y’know, like a clever play on words after the new movie.”

Rose nods in agreement and says it’s a totally genius idea while Finn just glowers at them both. But mostly Rey.

“Remember what I said before, about you being a traitor to the crown? Yeah, I take it back.” Finn laughs and shakes his head before proclaiming, “You’re actually a demon sent from hell itself and I absolutely hate you.”

Rey just smiles and puts a hand on his cheek, murmuring, “Yeah, honey, there’s no way you can be that dramatic and still be straight, sorry to say.”

He groans and throws himself back in his lawn chair, done with this conversation before it can even begin. “Oh my God, not this again. I’m not even gay, like can we just not?”

“It doesn’t have to mean you’re gay. You could be bisexual, or even queer.” Rose says and then squeezes his hand. “I know it might sound like we’re doing this to be mean or even tease you, but we’re not. And I think Rey might be onto something.”

Finn squeezes his eyes shut and mutters, “Jesus, I need another drink” because he is so not doing this, he’s just not. “Guys, it’s okay, it’s really not that serious.”

Again, Rey and Rose exchange a look he’s starting to think is some weird gay-girl superpower thing, because he just doesn’t understand what the fuck it means. Either that or he’s just socially inept as ever.

“I know it isn’t what you wanna hear, because who does, really? But you’re gonna have to address it eventually, even if that isn’t right this minute.” She says it in the soft voice of someone who’s already been there, done that, and come out the other side, like an older sister giving their kid brother some much-needed advice and comfort in the deep, dark, blue hours of the night.

Except it’s four in the afternoon and he’s sleep deprived and hungry and he can’t stop thinking about how that guy at the gym would look in an orange flight suit, all windswept hair and dark eyes and a stupidly charming smile reserved just for Finn.

* * *

God help him, that's almost exactly what happens at the gym the next morning: Finn's hitting up the treadmill with Rey and minding his own business when a guy comes up to him and says, "Hey stranger, you mind being my spotter again?"

He's wearing an orange tank top that shows off every inch of his well-defined arms and a crooked smile that has Finn forgetting how words work. If Finn had been holding his latte right now? Yeah, that shit would've been all over the treadmill and pooling on the floor by now, sad globs of whipped cream and all. 

That's seriously how good-looking this dude is.

Then he sees the forest tattoo inked on the guy's arm and recognition (and a bit of panic too, let's be real) slams into him, but it's Rey who says, " _Poe Dameron_?" like she's the one who suddenly can't breathe.

"The one and only. You mind if I steal your gym buddy for a while?" The smile on Poe's face should be absolutely illegal, and who even gave him the right?

"Oh, not at all. Go right ahead." Rey looks thoroughly charmed as well, but for her to just _encourage_ the guy like that...

"We're having words when I get back, you hear?“ Finn means it too.

She just sticks her tongue out at him and gives him a push off the treadmill. "Go, have fun."

Sure, he'll have fun.

If fun entails dying a slow death as Poe leads Finn away from the treadmills and towards the bench press as he says, offhand and casual, "Y'know they've got a pool here too. So we could always swim laps next time or something if you were up for it."

He manages to settle himself onto the bench okay, and then promptly loses his shit and sputters something unintelligible at the mental image of Poe in swim trunks, dripping wet and laughing as he swims laps around Finn.

Poe's hands settle over his own to steady the trembling weight rack above him and keep it from falling onto either of them. Frankly, he thinks that’s almost _worse_ than having the entire thing crush his chest, but the breathless feeling is probably about the same.

Poe's close, distractingly close now, when he leans down to ask, "Or can you not swim?"

"No man, I can swim fine, just-" _Just the thought of you dripping in pool water and smiling at me is kind of fucking with my head but it's all good, totally fine._

Afraid I'll win, huh?" Aand there's the exact smile he'd just imagined. Jesus, he really is going to die. He thinks he can hear Rey laughing from here.

The Gods take mercy on Finn when he and Poe finally switch places, but only just.

They talk for ages while they work out, running and rowing and even biking a bit, and keep talking long after they call it quits for the day. By the time their workout’s over, his muscles ache and his feet hurt from running so long and hard, but he doesn't mind as much when he's with Poe.

Being with him is easy, fun, and Finn enjoys talking to him almost as much as he does with Rey. And at this point, she’s probably his best friend on the entire planet. But it's also different with Poe - he's a very tactile person, always touching Finn’s arm or looking at him intently or leaning in close to listen when Finn speaks. It’s different, but Finn finds it isn’t a _bad_ sorta different. It at least wouldn't be hard to get used to, that's for damn sure.

Rey falls into step with them at some point or other and they’re quick to include her in the conversation as they find somewhere to sit down and cool off outside. (“Wait wait wait, you actually punched a guy in the face? In front of your kids?” “I mean yeah but he was also kind of a Nazi so-” “Don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same to Ben, Rey, we all know you would,”).

Soon all of them are joking around and laughing like they’ve known each other for ages, conversation free-flowing and easy. When Poe jokes that he saw their little duet last week, Finn and Rey trade twin looks of confusion - but then they remember the sing-along in the truck and they're both fucking _horrified._

"Wait, you saw that? Oh, that was so cringey, we're terrible dancers." Finn's the one who says it but Rey nods along in agreement.

"Finn, we're just lucky he didn't _hear us_ , like can you imagine?"

And Poe just nudges him in the side and smiles across the table at Rey, saying, "Now that I can't vouch for, but it definitely looked like you two were enjoying yourselves. My kids thought it was adorable, actually."

Oh, Jesus. _His kids saw the whole thing too?_ Rey thunks her head down on the table in abject defeat and Poe laughs, loud and warm, as she mutters something unintelligible and miserable-sounding. 

"Hey, it's not all bad." He soothes, half comforting and half teasing when he assures them, "I'm sure you'd be a hit at karaoke night."

Rey finally picks her head off the table and scrunches up her nose before conceding, "We'd at least be better than Ben and his edgy cover band, they sound like screechy, dying animals."

"They sound _worse_ than dying animals, Rey, that's giving them too much credit," Finn says from beside Poe, and Poe just looks back and forth between them with amusement glimmering in his eyes.

"Do I even wanna know who Ben is at this point?"

The answer is a resounding and unanimous  _no, probably not_ , but they tell him anyway. By the time they're done, he agrees with Rey about the guy needing a good punch in the face. Then they all talk music and tv shows for a while, and the lot of them agree that Game of Thrones is painfully overrated, Rihanna is the uncontested queen of pop, and that local coffee shops only play the 1975's album in a desperate attempt to seem ~lit~ and cool.

It’s kind of awesome to see Rey and Poe getting along so well, or at least it is until he hears Rey ask…

“Hey Poe, have you ever been to Maz’s Cafe? It’s just down the road from here, lovely little place for tea or coffee.” She’s sporting the same devious look on her face from yesterday even as she slips on a pair of shades to block out the sun.

 _Oh no._ Not again.

Finn’s about to physically lean across the table and cover her mouth to stop her from spilling whatever evil ass idea she’s got in her cute little head this time, but it’s too late. She’s already got Poe’s undivided attention, and he dips his head close to her and smiles before he says, “No actually, I haven’t. Been meaning to go but just never made the time, y’know? Hard with two kids.”

The wicked smile remains, with Rey looking positively _gleeful_ as she says, “Really? Because Finn hasn’t either.”

“ _Demon_ ,” Finn says under his breath, swearing that if he just had a damn rosary…but wait, does that shit even work on demons, or is it just vampires? See, this is why he’d flunked out of Sunday school as a kid.

He’s so in his own head wondering about the logistics of slaying actual vampires and demons and _not_ just his best friend that he doesn’t really hear her suggest he and Poe go to the coffee shop together.

But the moment Finn’s met with Poe’s warm, dark eyes and the full force of his smile again, he’s struck with the thought that yeah, he’d definitely flunk out of adult Sunday school sessions if Poe was the one leading the discussion. He just can’t bloody concentrate around the guy. But it’s not his _fault_ , okay? No one man should be this kind and funny and ridiculously charming. They just shouldn’t, okay?

Finn touches back down to Earth just in time for Poe to nudge him in the shoulder and ask, “So whaddya say, can I take you out for coffee sometime? My treat, man, it’s the least I can do after you’ve helped me out two weeks in a row.”

"You don't have to though, it's okay," Finn says in earnest, almost too quickly. Definitely too quickly, if the look in Poe’s eyes is anything to go by. It’s like he's just kicked the guy’s puppy, or told him Disney’s scrapped the next Star Wars sequel and thrown all the footage in the trash before setting the shit on fire. (Okay, maybe he doesn't look quite _that_ level of sad, but it's close enough.)

“Yeah I know, but I want to,” Poe says in reply. And then, turning to Rey, he stage-whispers to her behind his hand, “Is he always like this?”

To which Rey just grins and stage-whispers back, “Oh, all the time.”

“If I agree to coffee at Maz’s, will you two stop talking about me like I’m not even here?”

“ _Yes.”_ They answer in unison at a normal volume before Rey actually pleads with him, desperate, “ _Please_ , just say yes. Look at this face, you can’t stand up a face like this” and then gestures to Poe’s face as though Finn even needs a reason to look.

“I’m not gonna lie, you have a terrible pouting face,” Finn says once he gives the guy a once-over, and Poe raises a brow and prompts, “Okay, buuut…?”

“But okay, okay, we can go for coffee. Tea. Drinks. Whatever you wanna call it, I’m game.” Finn does a good job making it sound like the two of them have really worn him down, but honestly, he’d probably have agreed to go to Mars right this minute if Poe had asked him to.

A slow smile spreads across Poe’s face and brings out the laugh lines around his eyes, a brown as deep and dark as space is vast. Seriously, it is not fair that he's this fucking distracting. “So we’re really doing this, huh?”

Finn finds himself smiling back, unable to help it even if he’d tried. “Yeah, man, we’re really doing this.”

And Poe just winks at him, like _he actually fucking winks at him for the second time in as many weeks_ , and says, “Then you’ve got yourself a date, pal” like he doesn’t know what it does to Finn.

Maybe he doesn't. That's a possibility, right? Maybe Poe isn't gay at all, or even the tiniest bit bisexual, and Finn's started reading into this whole thing way too much for someone who’s supposed to be straight as fuck and _not_ losing their shit over a guy.

But he is decidedly losing his shit over a guy, and not for the first time today. If he’d thought he was screwed before, he’s definitely screwed now.

So maybe Rey _was_ onto something when she’d called this his Thirst Awakening after all. Goddammit, he hates when she’s right.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments help sustain my life-force, so pls feed me some good fckin' food


	3. #spacegays ftw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Pride, btchesss!!!
> 
> This is one of my favorite chapters (and possibly the longest yet) in which FinnPoe flirts via text, Finn gets a lil overwhelmed overthinking their date on Saturday, and Luke is a supportive dad who talks him through his first bi panic as they cook dinner together.
> 
> Further cuteness ensues via FinnPoe text later that night, Rey and Rose tell the group chat they bought our boy some new clothes for his date, and poor Snap and Karé still have no idea what the fuck's going on.

 

Rey and Rose have been quiet about the Star Wars thing lately. _Too_ quiet.

Which means they’re probably planning something big for Saturday, and at the scene of the crime, no less. That should be cause for concern. Lots of concern. These are the same pair of girls who threw him his very own prom when they’d heard he never went to one. The same girls who filled his living room full of balloons and stayed up all night to bake him a fucking three-layer cake (from scratch! _scratch!_ ) for his twenty-first birthday. The same girls who needlessly turn any and every small thing in his life into a full-on production.

So given that Finn’s been texting Poe for the past three days straight and neither of them has batted an eye at that fact is, well…just short of straight-up terrifying, actually. Especially since Rey is involved - he loves the girl, but she's freaking _devious_. He texts Poe about as much while he’s lounging on the couch one rainy afternoon after he’s out of class for the day, busying fucking around on Youtube when he should be studying for his exams.

Poe’s reply comes in the middle of an adorable cat video compilation he’s watched a good thirty times in the past couple months. Maybe more. Okay, he’s practically memorized what happens at this point, but that’s neither here nor there.

He glances at his phone to read the message. _I’m sure they wouldn’t do anything too terrible tho…or would they?_ There are a bunch of devil emojis at the end that could suggest Poe’s totally in on the girls’ evil plan or that Finn is an overthinking, anxious fuck over this date and needs to chill.

He’s going with the second possibility. It’s better for his heart rate and his sense of sanity, at this point. Or whatever’s left of it after writing a damn ten-page term paper for Phasma. He’d burned through three espressos writing the stupid-ass thing late into the night before he’d inevitably crashed and fell asleep.

Now bored out of his mind but not ready to study _just_ yet (and let's be real, is he ever ready to study?), Finn browses Hulu for a new show to watch and picks one at random. His phone vibrates with a text some twenty minutes into watching the pilot episode for a show about some edgy mermaids in a quiet, seaside Washington state town. Why’s it always gotta be Washington state though? Hell, first the zombies invade Seattle and now some sirens are taking out the coast?

He makes the mistake of glancing at his phone without pausing the show, nearly has a cardiac event as a result, and misses half of what’s going on in Brighton Cove. Bristol Island? He can’t remember. It doesn’t matter. Because whatever’s going on in the Ian Somerhalder-less, siren version of Mystic Falls is more or less eclipsed from his mind the minute he reads Poe’s message.

_Young man, shouldn’t you be studying? ;)_

And if that alone wasn’t enough to remind Finn of his Sunday school teacher daydreams from the week before, then the next text definitely is.

_Don’t let me distract you, Finn. Focus! :p_

More emojis and teasing are soon to follow. This isn’t helping him concentrate in the least bit, which Poe must know. Like at this point, there isn’t any way Poe _doesn’t_ know what he’s doing.

And so the adult Sunday school teacher daydream’s alive and well, apparently. Finn can picture it now: _Poe’s wearing a long-sleeve button-down rolled up at the elbows as he leans forward across the table to listen to whatever Finn has to say. And he gives Finn an encouraging smile or even bites his lip to keep from laughing when Finn rambles on too long, and Finn kind of wants to kiss him for it, wants any excuse to kiss him, just pull him in and-_

He shoves the thought away and replies with what he hopes is an equally flirty, “No please, continue distracting me ;)” text and then hesitates about sending it. The thought of kissing another guy (even if it is Poe) should probably be more upsetting to Finn if he's as straight as he thinks he is. But it just...isn't? So that's kind of strange. It's like he keeps volleying back and forth between being pretty chill about this whole thing and just going with the flow, and then absolutely freaking the fuck out because nope, who's chill? Not him.

Rey _had_ called this his Thirst Awakening though and at this point, Finn can acknowledge that okay, fine, maybe he’s a little thirsty for this guy - but what if he’s reading into things too much? What if this is just fun for Poe and not something he actually wants to seriously pursue?

Or what if they _do_ pursue things and then it all goes to shit and their friendship’s ruined because of it and it's all Finn's fault?

Overwhelmed, he throws his phone to the other end of the couch just as Luke walks in the front door, grocery bags in hand. He raises an eyebrow at Finn and asks, “Everything okay, my boy?”

Finn just groans and flops back onto the couch, muttering, “I don’t even know. I think so?”

Luke just gives his son a long look and then says, “Come help me make dinner. We can talk about it then.”

Finn tries to peek in one of the reusable bags to see what they’re making but Luke just smiles and pulls it that much farther away from him.

“I got us Ben & Jerry’s for dessert if that’s what you’re looking for. Now come on, wash up and let’s get going.”

He drags himself up and goes to the kitchen to wash his hands, leaving his phone exactly where it is. That isn’t lost on his dad, who joins him at the sink and asks, “Rey gonna forgive you for not answering your texts at lightspeed?”

That, at the very least, gets him to smile somewhat. “Wasn’t texting Rey, Dad. It’s someone else.”

“Ah, so now he talks. Do tell me more. Who’s turned your world upside down this time?”

They put the groceries away as they talk, leaving out everything they need for dinner tonight - pasta, tomato sauce, and grilled chicken. It’s actually one of Finn’s all-time favorites, which was probably intentional on his dad’s part; feed Finn his favorite meals and he’ll tell you everything you wanna know and a handful of things you probably didn’t.

In any case, Luke gets out the pots and pans while Finn grabs all the fresh herbs they need from their outdoor garden. When he comes back inside with basil, parsley, and oregano in hand, his dad’s already filled a pot with water and started heating up the chicken and tomato sauce. He adds the herbs to the pan and stirs everything around a good few times to help it absorb the flavor, then lets it all simmer on low heat.

They switch spots so Luke can perfect the tomato sauce while Finn watches the water boil. It’s only when he’s noisily adding the box of pasta into the huge metal pot on the stove some minutes later that he mutters, “His name’s Poe Dameron, okay?”

And Luke smiles at that and says, “That’s a fine name. This a new friend of yours?”

Finn nods as he stirs in the pasta. “Yeah, met him a few weeks ago at the gym when Rey couldn’t make it.”

“Ah, he a gym rat then? That what they call those folks?” Luke asks as he lets the sauce simmer and bubble.

The aroma of tomato sauce with fresh herbs, grilled chicken, and cooked pasta soon fills the kitchen, and Finn relaxes some as the overwhelmed feeling from earlier begins to fade away.

This is better. This is easier. He can do this.

A smile tugs at Finn’s lips as he says, “Yeah, but I don’t think he’s one of them. Used to be in the Air Force though. He’s like nine years older than me and Rey, has two kids, and he’s just…he’s a really great guy.”

“And you like this Dameron guy?” There’s no judgment in the question, only curiosity and interest.

Finn hesitates and then, figuring there’s no reason to lie, says, “Well yeah, course I do. But that’s kind of the problem, see?”

And Luke just gives his son a sidelong glance and asks, “Why’s liking someone a problem? He work for the CIA or something?”

“What, no!” A laugh bubbles out of Finn’s chest, sudden and full. When he can speak again, it’s to say, “Jesus, Dad, not everyone’s a government spy out to get people, seriously.”

But then he’s laughing again and so is Luke, so there isn’t any real weight to the jab. Besides, his dad even knows he’s probably a lil bit paranoid when it comes to the government - but that doesn’t stop him from roasting them a little each chance he gets.

“Men in Black then?”

They’re still trying to keep it together and failing miserably. “No.”

“FBI?”

“No.”

“Charlie’s Angels?”

All Finn can remember about those movies is three or four women walking around in tight jumpsuits, beating up the bad guys, and occasionally blowing shit up. And the thought of Poe in a similar jumpsuit isn’t such a bad idea, but…

“ _No!_ ”

Luke cackles and jabs a finger at him. “Ah, you hesitated too long! He’s totally a part of Charlie’s Angels and using you for intel!”

Finn gives his dad a playful shove and says around a laugh, “Oh, fuck off, he is not! Charlie’s Angels doesn’t even exist, and he wouldn’t do that anyway. He’s a good guy, okay? No, a great guy.”

Without missing a beat, Luke gives the sauce one last stir and then asks, “Oh, that what this is about then?”

And Finn can’t exactly follow as he drains the pasta in the sink. “Is _what_ what this is about?”

“You. Liking your friend. Is that the problem?”

“I don’t- I mean I’m not- it isn’t even-” But Luke’s giving him his trademark _I-see-through-everyone’s-bullshit_ expression, and Finn’s never been too good at lying to his dad anyway.

He groans and buries his face in a dish towel, words muffled by the fabric when he yells, “Oh my God, why is everyone making this into such a big deal?!”

Luke’s quick to try and contain the fire. “It’s not a big deal son, really. And I wasn’t the one yelling, prodigal one, _you_ started that.”

He mutters that okay, that’s true, but still doesn’t take the towel away from his face. So Luke does it for him, gently pulling the cloth back from Finn’s face and then throwing it onto the counter. He cups Finn’s face in his hands as dinner simmers on the stove and asks, “Is it a big deal to you? Don’t think about me or Rey or anyone else. Is it a big deal _to you_?”

“Not really. Sometimes? I don’t know. I don’t _want_ it to a big deal, it’s just-” He sighs and shakes his head. “We’re supposed to be going on a date on Saturday. Or at least, I think it’s a date. He said it’s a date, but I don’t know if he meant it in the chill, casual _okay-cool-see-you-then_ way, or the _lemme-take-you-out_ way _.”_

“And what way d’you want it to be?” Of course Luke would ask him that. He can always count on his dad to ask the hard questions.

“ _Ughh_ , can we just eat dinner?”

His dad laughs and allows him that. And Finn does manage to smile when his dad reminds him there’s Ben & Jerry’s for dessert. How Luke knows exactly when Finn needs ice cream, he’ll never know - but he absolutely loves him for it anyway.

They settle in at the kitchen table and dig in, comfortable silence broken only by the sound of Finn’s phone. The expression on Luke’s face when he hears the text notification is absolutely fucking priceless.

“Is that… _is that the Star Wars theme_?”

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s Poe’s favorite.”

Luke, for the record, does continue to look at Finn like that. “I like this guy already. You should bring him over for dinner.”

Finn groans and gets up to grab his phone from the living room. “You’re just as bad as Rey, honestly.”

* * *

After dinner, they each eat half a pint of ice cream and watch half a season of the weird, edgy mermaid show together before Luke brings up the Star Wars thing again. Or, brings it up in his own roundabout way, rather.

“You’ve been smiling at your phone for days and I’ve never seen you so happy, lad,” His dad says as the credits for the latest episode roll and Hulu prompts them to watch another.

“Because I am happy, Dad.” He thinks of his friends, of long afternoons spent day drinking in the quad and dancing barefoot in the grass. He thinks of getting pumpkin spice lattes before eight-am classes and late-night study sessions in the library with Rey. He thinks of movie nights with the whole Scooby Gang and endless conversations with Poe.

All of it makes him happy, of course. He’s just even happier with Poe in his life.

“But if someone’s hurting you, or taking advantage of you-” Luke gets a dangerous look in his eye and Finn remembers all at once that his dad used to be ex-military.

“No, no! That’s not it, Dad, really. I’d tell you if that were happening,” Finn insists as he sets the half-finished pint of Phish Food down on the coffee table.

“It’s just- I’m just worried about this thing with Poe, y’know?”

Luke nods that he’s following along so far as he finishes off his Cherry Garcia for the time being.

Finn pauses, thinking of how to word things and still make sense. “So Rey said that we should get coffee at that cafe downtown, Maz’s I think it’s called. Like - she was totally trying to set us up because she knows I kinda like him. And Poe just went along with it, probably because he’s a chill guy like that. _Ugh_. You know how everyone loves that Patrick Dempsey guy from Grey’s and calls him McCharming or whatever?”

“McDreamy,” Luke supplies, and Finn doesn’t even bother asking how he knows that.

“Right. Well, Poe is like the real-life version but with much better hair. And eyes. And backstory. The point is-”

“You think he’s great and you’re a bit attracted to him, but you don’t know if he feels the same way, so you’re not sure how to go about Saturday,” His dad sums the whole thing up without Finn even finishing his sentence.

_Oh._

“I- wait- how did you even-” He’s pretty sure all those words were somehow supposed to make up a coherent sentence but his only two remaining brain cells are kinda busy trying to figure out what just happened.

And Luke just smiles at him and says, “Lando Calrissian,” like that answers the question. “I had the same problem once, or at least at first.”

He remembers the name later that same night when he’s taking a study break and decides to ask Poe, _hey man, what the fuck is a Lando Calrissian?_

To which his only reply is Poe’s _, buddy, you’re gonna wanna Google this one._

So he does. A quick Google search later and he has his answer. Oh. _Oh_ , that makes sense now. Actually, a lot of things make sense now. Judging by the results, it’d appear that Lando Calrissian was something of a hot B-list actor back in his heyday. The images pictured prove the ‘hot’ part - the guy could be the literal definition of tall, dark and handsome. And a couple of old tabloid magazines from the eighties speculate that he may or may not have been dating a mystery man by the name of Luke Skywalker.

 _No way._ He literally had no idea about this part of his dad’s life and it almost feels like an invasion of privacy, getting the info from a tabloid that’s no longer in publication. But Luke _had_ said that he’d had Finn’s same problem at first, so maybe…

Maybe there’s hope that Saturday won’t be a total disaster?

He keeps reading. A few of the articles are accompanied by grainy photos of two men holding hands on a backstage lot, and other photos feature the same men kissing. One of them could definitely be his dad - he’s younger and not as heavy-set, but there’s really no mistaking his dad’s trademark smile and bright blue eyes. Even from crappy tabloid photos. The articles don't specify how the two met, so it's more or less up to Finn to decide how _that_ happened. It isn't like his dad has any famous connections outside of the astronomy community and the army, which, c'mon - none of those guys would've been able to hook him up with a minor celebrity.

Still, it's cute though. 

Though the articles do go on to say that the romance didn't last, as Lando moved on to date an Indiana-Jones-type actor named Han Solo that same summer. Which Finn can only imagine must've broken his dad's heart.

 _oh my god, what. This is…wow. I never knew any of this_ is all Finn can think to say to Poe after several deleted drafts. There’s so much more he _could_ say, of course, long paragraphs of texts he’d probably (definitely) send if he were drunk. Like how much he enjoys talking to Poe, or how he's always happy to be around him, and even sappier, cornier shit he doesn't have the balls to type right now, let alone actually send. But he'd definitely do it if he were drunk.

A thought occurs to him then - what was that word Rose had used last week? She'd said that maybe he wasn't gay, but that he was bi...bi something. He wracks his brain to try and remember and then it finally hits him. Bisexual! Yeah, that's it.

So Finn scours the internet for more info. And he has to wonder, had his dad always known this about himself? Or did he stumble into it with Lando and then freak out like the way Finn’s doing with Poe now?

He isn’t sure. But he looks up what bisexuality is (because it's gotta be different than just being gay, right?), what it isn’t, what it might look like, and on and on and on anyway. He wants…well, he wants to know more about it. Not to creep on his dad though - Luke’s a grown-ass man, he can obviously do whatever he wants. No, Finn wants to know more about this whole thing so he can try and better understand _himself_.

He scrolls through webpage after webpage, hopping back and forth between various tumblr tags and twitter threads and other forums where people talk about their experiences coming out, how they knew, what labels they use, and on and on.

And it's...kind of overwhelming, he's not even gonna lie.

So, drafting and sending a second message before he can overthink it too much, Finn texts Poe,  _how do people even figure this stuff out? like why is it so hard?_

Because he’s never…well, as cliche as it sounds, he’s never had a crush like this before. He’s never been so suddenly and intensely attracted to a woman the way he is with Poe. And judging by a flood of social media posts and innumerable internet forums, it seems to be a thing for a lot of bisexual people: attraction to different genders can sometimes look and feel different or vary in intensity.

Which, holy shit, does that not explain his entire life?

When he’d crushed on girls as a kid, it was fine. Nothing earth-shattering or all-consuming. Even later on in high school, he’d develop a crush on a cute girl in class and it wasn’t this big, huge deal like every teen movie on the planet made it out to be. It was just a crush.

But he’d had a crush on a boy  _once_ when he was maybe twelve and it was like the earth stopped rotating on its axis for the entire three months Finn liked him.

He thinks Poe tries to be helpful when he says, _Idunno man, it's just like...when you know, you know._ A second text comes in soon after, pointing out, _I realize that probably doesn't help much._

Finn has to laugh and texts back, _no, it doesn't. But thanks though_

He keeps reading and researching while he and Poe message back and forth. He could be bisexual and it'd make sense, he guesses, but he just isn't one hundred percent sure. He's almost certain he isn't pansexual though, because the key point there seems to be that gender doesn't play into attractions at all. And that just isn't really the case for him. Like it matters, sure, just...maybe not as much as he'd once thought it did?

Ugh, he doesn't know. He’s waist-deep in another internet search on all different sorts of sexualities and their meanings when Poe sends him another text, a sweet, _Hey, I know you’ll figure it out. But its late, so get some sleep okay? Internet will still be here tomorrow & so will I, sweetheart, promise._

Finn actually groans and buries his head in his hands, smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. When he recovers a few minutes later, he sends back a simple, I _know, dork <3 i’m glad tho. Sleep well, okay?_

And Poe’s right, of course. It is late, well past one in the morning, and he doesn’t have to figure this out in one night. He probably won’t anyway. There's just too much information out there, and wading through it all along with his own feelings is, well, it's a lot. But it’s also not like there’s a set amount of time he gets to figure his shit out before the sand in the hourglass runs out and someone yanks his gay membership card away from him.

He can take his time. And he knows that, of course, he does. It’s just better because now he knows Poe isn’t gonna hightail it the fuck outta here while Finn’s still figuring things out.

* * *

 Once he’s gotten dressed and ready for bed a good half hour later, he pulls the blankets up over his head like a little kid trying to read in secret and texts the group chat, _so uh, Poe called me sweetheart and I’m dead? why is he allowed??_

His phone blows up with nonstop notifications from his friends for the next minute and a half. He reads them all ( _omg so cute_ , _#spacegays ftw_ , _when is the wedding!!, who is Poe and where can I get one??_ and _rude, Karé, u already have me,_ to name but a few) and laughs out loud when he gets to the last one from Rey: _btw we might’ve bought u new clothes for your date, srry we didn’t tell you before_

He takes back every mean thing he’s ever said about her the past couple weeks. So that’s what she and Rose have been up to lately! That explains why they haven’t been freaking out about the nonstop text conversations between him and Poe - because they’d been running around trying to buy him new clothes for his date. His best friends are absolutely ridiculous and they clearly know it, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

And he apparently _really_ has to fill in Snap and Karé about the whole Thirst Awakening thing because they still have no idea what the actual fuck’s going on. ( _No seriously who is Poe??, i'm confused,_ and _wtf's going onn dude_ are the sort of texts they keep sending the group chat. _)_

He’ll fill them in tomorrow though. He’s been awake for more hours than he can count running on fewer hours of sleep, so he bids the group chat goodnight and falls asleep happier than he’s been in a really long time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took for-freaking-ever to write and I was in agonyyy over it at first bc finding the right words took ages. It was also originally a lot sadder and the first draft had Finn crying while confiding in his dad but nOPE, we're not doing that this Pride month.
> 
> So I give you cute, happy #spacegays ftw, supportive adoptive dads, and encouraging friends instead.
> 
> Enjoy! The date comes next chapter.


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